i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
