apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize