my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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