guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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