It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
