What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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