my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
