Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
