Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize