We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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