you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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