This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
