just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
