He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
