imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
