...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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