You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
