Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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