I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
