No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
