you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
