no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
