Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
