your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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