dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
