can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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