...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
