I accidentally burped into my bong.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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