Please, let me fuck your mom
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
