Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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