Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize