don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
