I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
