my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
