before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
