"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
