She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
