She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize