One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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