my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
