I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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