I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
