I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
