This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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