How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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