I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
