I must be too annoying 4 u.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
