PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
