Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize