If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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