Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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