i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
