it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
