I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my phone needs a breathalizer
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
