just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
