brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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