i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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